15 Things You Should Never Do at a Wedding — From a Wedding Planner in France

As a wedding planner based in the romantic heart of France, I’ve seen it all—from lavish château celebrations in the Loire Valley and Provence to intimate garden soirées in Normandy and Bordeaux. I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty: even the most relaxed wedding requires an enormous amount of behind-the-scenes effort.

Couples invest their hearts, time, and a significant sum of money to create an unforgettable experience not only for themselves but for their loved ones. As a guest, your role is simple—be gracious, respectful, and present. Here are 15 things I always advise guests to avoid at a wedding if they want to be remembered fondly (and avoid being the subject of the post-wedding gossip).

Don’t Interrupt the Couple During Their Photos

Whether we’re in the lavender fields of Provence, the steps of a Parisian hôtel particulier or at a beautiful 18th century Chateau in the Loire Valley, the couple’s portrait session is not the time to run up for hugs and selfies. While they may smile warmly, you’re cutting into their precious and often tightly scheduled photo time.

As their planner, I work closely with photographers to ensure we capture those key moments quickly so the couple can join you for apéritifs. Admire from afar and let the professionals do their job. You can take photos later at the cocktail.

Don’t Reserve Your Seat at the Reception Too Early

I know you’re eager to find your table at the reception—but please don’t drop your shawl or handbag at your chair before dinner begins. We often plan a private reveal of the decorated room for the couple, and cluttered tables can ruin this special moment (and the photos we’ve been planning for months).

Let the space remain untouched until guests are formally invited to enter.

Don’t Grab Your Place Card Prematurely

That beautiful display of escort cards near the entrance? It’s part of the decor and has likely been painstakingly styled. Photographers may not have captured it yet, especially if pre-ceremony portraits ran long.

Please wait until you’re invited to take your card—typically just after cocktail hour. And never rearrange your assigned seat. Trust me, seating plans are mini puzzles involving family dynamics, dietary needs, and logistical flow. Respect them.

Don’t Be the Guest With the Phone Out

When couples request an unplugged ceremony, they mean it. Not only does your phone block the photographer’s view, but your glowing screen in an otherwise candlelit chapel? It’s disruptive.

You’re here to experience the moment, not document it. Photos are usually made available for all the guests after the wedding. Put your phone away—especially during the ceremony, entrance, and first dance.

Don’t Interrupt the Couple at Their Table

When the couple finally sits down for their meal leave them alone. They’ve likely been pulled in 20 directions all day—and this is their only chance to eat, breathe, and connect with their wedding party.

Unless invited, give them space. A quick hello can wait until the dancing starts.

Don’t Overdo It at the Bar

Yes, French weddings are known for their flowing Champagne and multi-course dinners—but moderation is key. Overindulgence leads to accidents, spills on rental linens, or worse—awkward dance floor incidents that become tomorrow’s group chat scandal.

Alternate with water and pace yourself. Trust me, there will be wine at dinner too and more cocktails later at the dance.

Don’t Disregard the Dress Code

From “cocktail chic” in Cannes to “black tie” in Bordeaux, the dress code is part of the ambiance. If it’s unclear, ask someone from the wedding party—but don’t take it as a suggestion. And no, this isn’t the time to wear white or ivory, unless specifically requested by the couple.

Wearing something wildly off-theme shows a lack of respect for the occasion.

Don’t Be That Couple With Too Much PDA

Love is in the air, oui—but a wedding isn’t the place for passionate displays. Keep it elegant. Think of it as attending a soirée hosted by royalty (or at least a very stylish cousin). Enjoy your date, but keep the romance tasteful.

Don’t Make Demands on the Catering Staff

If you have a dietary requirement, I’ve likely already arranged it with the caterer. But if your meal isn’t what you expected, please be polite and discreet. Don’t head to the kitchen, and certainly don’t ask the chef to “wrap up your duck confit to go.” This is a wedding, not a restaurant.

And please, never go behind the bar—aside from being incredibly rude, it’s also a liability.

Don’t Offer Your Critique of the Day

This isn’t the moment to mention the warm weather, the wait time for dessert, or your thoughts on the playlist. Weddings are deeply personal, and the couple has spent months curating every detail.

Your only job is to celebrate with them. Smile, toast, and keep any criticisms for your diary—not your dinner conversation.

Don’t Bring a Plus-One Unless Explicitly Invited

This might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it happens. In France, guest counts are planned meticulously—down to the number of chairs, portions, and even personalized favors. Bringing someone uninvited (even if it’s “just for the dance floor”) puts unnecessary stress on the couple, the caterers, and the planner.

If your invitation doesn’t say “+1” or mention your partner by name, assume you’re flying solo—and make some new friends at your table.

Don’t Start a Conversation With the Vendors

Yes, the florist, the musicians, and the photographer are all part of the ambiance—but they’re also working. Asking the violinist for a selfie, or engaging the caterers while they’re plating is distracting and delays the timeline.

If you’re truly curious or impressed, feel free to ask the couple later for the vendor list. We love referrals—but during the event, we need to stay focused.

Don’t Treat the Dance Floor Like a Stage

We all love a confident dancer—but there’s a fine line between life of the party and center of attention. French weddings often involve elegant waltzes, choreographed first dances, and sentimental moments. Save the wild moves or shirtless antics for the after-party (if there is one).

The dance floor is for joy, not showing off. Celebrate with the couple—not over them.

Don’t Take Decor or Florals Home Without Permission

Those stunning centerpieces or vintage candlesticks? They’re often rentals or reserved for other parts of the celebration (like the brunch the next day). Unless the couple specifically invites guests to take flowers home, admire them—but leave them in place. I’m always shocked at how many people try and walk out with a centerpiece. It’s a big no-no. I do many wedding that last several days, and the flowers are re-purposed for each day.

Taking decor without asking is one of the most common (and awkward) guest mistakes I’ve had to clean up.

Don’t Linger Too Long After the Party Ends

When the DJ plays the last song and the lights come up, it’s time to say your goodbyes. In France, many venues have strict end times due to local noise ordinances. Delays in clearing out can incur fines or extra charges for the couple.

If you’re not ready to end the night, organize a casual after-party at a local café or bar—but allow the vendors and hosts to begin tear-down in peace.

As a planner in France, my goal is always to create a seamless, magical experience where love and joy take center stage. But guests play a major role in setting the tone of the day. Keep these golden rules in mind, and you’ll be a guest everyone—including me—will remember for all the right reasons.

À votre santé, et à l’amour! 🥂